A Beginner's Guide to Prayer

In an age of proliferation of social networking sites, of accumulation of "friends", do you have The One Friend that matters? This short guide aims to help people develop friendship with God through prayer. God is online and is sending you a friend request. Accept, Deny, Ignore?

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Man’s longing for fulfillment is a reflection of his thirst for God. In the depths of his heart, man seeks God. But even before man could seek God, God sought him first. God’s search for man meets man’s longing for God in prayer.


Prayer is 'the raising of one’s mind and heart to God,'[1] 'being alone very often with someone whom we know loves us.'[2] Prayer, put simply, is talking with God, dealing with him in a manner similar to a child talking with his father.


It is in prayer that we grow in love with God. Human relationships grow in proportion to the knowledge and dealings between two persons: the more one knows and deals with the other, the more his love for the other grows. The same can be said of our relationship with God: the more we know and deal with God, the more we will love Him. It is in prayer where we talk and deal with God.

"You seek the friendship of those who, with their conversation and affection, with their company, help you to bear more easily the exile of this world- although those friends sometimes fail you…But how is it that you do not seek everyday, more eagerly, the company, the conversation of that great friend who will never fail you?"

- St. Josemaría Escrivá, The Way, No.88

Prayer is a foretaste of heaven. We can rightly say this because the goal of prayer is union with God; and what is heaven but the everlasting possession of and union with God?[3] We can thus understand why prayer brings so much peace and joy to those who regularly practice it.


This short guide aims to help people acquire the good habit of talking to God daily in silent prayer (also known as mental prayer).



I.Talking to God

You write, "To pray is to talk with God. But about what?" About what? About Him, about yourself—joys, sorrows, successes and failures, noble ambitions, daily worries, weaknesses! And acts of thanksgiving and petitions—and Love and reparation. In a word, to get to know him and to get to know yourself—"to get acquainted!" (The Way, No.91)

It is not necessary to know much in order to pray. What is more important is to love much, to speak with God and deal with him as you would to your friend, parent or loved one.


What are the things we can talk to God about?

• Your wishes: for yourself, your loved ones, your friends, society

Talk to God about your loved ones and your wishes for them. Ask for favors, both material (e.g. concerns in school and at home) and spiritual (e.g. help to avoid a bad habit, conversion of a relative).

• Your sorrows, worries, fears, failures, and yes, even your sins

Ask for light to understand things you find difficult to accept, guidance for difficult decisions you have to make, pardon for the sins you’ve committed, help to overcome your shortcomings.

• Your joys, successes and blessings

Let God take part in your joys; give Him thanks for the good things you’ve received.

• Your activities, duties, projects and ambitions

There is nothing that we do that is of no concern to God.

• Your determination to be a better son of God expressed in few but concrete resolutions

Sincerely face our Lord and ask Him, 'Lord what do you want from me?' and deep in your heart, you will hear the gentle demands of God.

In other words, you can talk to God about everything, because He is interested in everything. God is not far away, uninterested in the things that we do. St. Augustine affirmed this closeness of God when he said "God is more intimate to me than I am to myself."



II.Listening to God
Prayer is a conversation. It is not just a matter of talking to God continuously, but of listening to Him as well.


We can listen to God’s voice when we pause and reflect, when we hear God speak to us through the Bible (especially the Gospels), when a spiritual master guides us in the interior life (or spiritual life) through a book that he has written. We discuss below how to make use of a book and the Gospels in our prayer.


Using a book as a tool in prayer
Books about the spiritual life are especially helpful because they guide us on how we can consider spiritual topics. Reading them is like learning from great spiritual teachers who wish to share their discoveries and experiences in relating with God. We outline below how one can make use of a book as an aid in prayer:


How to use a book as an aid in prayer

• Read.

Go over some paragraphs of the book until you get enough material to engage in a conversation with God.

• Reflect.

Understand the ideas you just read; talk to God about how these can apply to your life and how you are trying to live them.

• Pause and Listen.

God may lead you to a discovery, urge you to perform a good work, or make a gentle reprimand for not doing His will. At this point, you may wish to give Him thanks for His light, ask His help to carry out a suggestion or ask his pardon for your shortcomings.

• Repeat the previous steps until the allotted time for your prayer is finished.

• Resolutions.

Towards the end of your prayer, you may also make some few but concrete resolutions, applying what you have discovered in prayer in your daily life.

Below are some books that could be useful for taking up the habit of mental prayer.


Book suggestions for starting mental prayer[4]

• Jesus as Friend, Salvador Canals

Written with simplicity, depth and passion, this book tackles the central themes of Christian living. A very practical prayer material.

• The Way, St. Josemaría Escrivá

A book containing short paragraphs written straight fromthe heart of the author and straight to the heart of the reader.

• Human but Holy, Leo Trese

With its short but perceptive sections on getting to know God, yourself and your neighbor, this book serves an excellent introductory book for prayer.

The Gospels
The Gospels are very important because they tell us about the life, works and words of Christ. Every Christian must acquire a certain familiarity with the Gospels through its regular reading and reflection. Fortunately, St. Josemaria has left us some advice on how to meditate on them. He writes:

"My advice is that, in your prayer, you take part in the different scenes of the Gospel, as one more among the people present. First of all, imagine the scene or mystery you have chosen to help you recollect your thoughts and meditate. Next, apply your mind, concentrating on the particular aspect of the Master’s life you are considering, his humility, his purity, the way he fulfills his Father’s will. Then tell him what happens to you in these matters, how things are with you, what is going on in your soul. Be attentive, because he may want to point out to you, and you will experience suggestions deep in your soul, realizing certain things and feeling his gentle reprimands.”

- St. Josemaría Escrivá, Friends of God, No.253

We summarize these steps below:


St.Josemaría’s suggestions for reflecting on the Gospels

• Imagine

Create a picture of the scene in your mind using your senses and imagination

• Focus

Consider an aspect of our Lord’s life as reflected in the scene – e.g. his love, generosity, mercy, etc.

•  Reflect

As regards the item you are considering, what happens in your own life, in your own soul?

• Pause and listen.

God may be making some suggestions and gentle reprimands.

III.Practical Suggestions


Decide on the duration of daily prayer
Commit to a fixed duration of daily prayer. Ten minutes daily may be enough for one beginning this practice. Regularity, more than duration is what is important. It is better to commit and actually do five minutes of prayer daily than to commit to do 30 minutes and do it only occasionally. Having a fixed duration of prayer is also important because it guards against praying only as long as one “feels like praying”, thus guaranteeing right intention.


Choose a definite place and time
Since God deserves the best, prayer should ideally be done at the best place and the best time. Thus, it is better not to do it late at night while lying in bed when we are vulnerable to fall asleep. Choose a place and time in which you can easily be recollected. It could be after school or office hours at a nearby chapel where the Blessed Sacrament is kept, or early morning or afternoon in the quiet of your own room.


Recite an introductory and closing prayer
Below are the prayers taught by St. Josemaria for beginning and ending a mental prayer.

Introductory Prayer

My Lord and my God, I firmly believe that you are here, that you see me, that you hear me. I adore you with profound reverence; I beg your pardon for my sins, and your grace to spend this time of prayer fruitfully. My Immaculate Mother, St. Joseph, my father and lord, my guardian angel, intercede for me.

Closing Prayer

I thank you, my God, for all the good resolutions, affections and inspirations that you have communicated to me in this meditation. I beg your help in performing them. My Immaculate Mother, St. Joseph, my father and lord, my guardian angel, intercede for me.

Use a journal
Use a small notebook to jot down the things that you discover in prayer- lights, affections, inspirations and resolutions. It would help to review them on your succeeding prayers in order to provide continuity to your conversation with God and your spiritual struggle.



IV.Persevering in Prayer

"Give me a person who has fifteen minutes of mental prayer daily, and I will give you a saint."

"If you do not practice mental prayer, you don't need the devil to throw you into hell, you throw yourself in there of your own accord."

- St. Teresa of Avila

It is well worthwhile to persevere in prayer despite the many difficulties you may encounter. We answer below some common excuses for giving up the prayer life.


I don’t have time
Is it rather the case that you don’t make time for God? God is only asking for a few minutes daily. You find it easy to spend much time on the things that you like, but when it comes to God, you simply don’t have time. When you decide to sacrifice your time for God, you will soon discover that God will multiply your time[5].


I keep saying the same things
Perhaps you only speak about your life and your concerns; try asking God about His concerns, get to know Him more. The more you know about God, the easier it will be to talk to Him. You may be able to get ideas and inspirations from using the Gospels and some book on the spiritual life. Another way to feed your prayer is to practice daily spiritual reading. See Fr.C.J.McCloskey’s article on the subject[6].


I can’t think of anything, I don’t feel anything
Then tell God that you can’t think of anything, in that way, you would have begun to pray. Remember that the essential thing in prayer is to touch base with God, not to say, feel or think much. If we spent a period of prayer in utter dryness, we have not wasted our time; we have expressed our loyalty and love in persevering in our prayer despite the absence of consolation.


How do I know it is God talking to me?
God can communicate to us through the thoughts and inspirations that come to us in prayer. Yes, we are the ones who thought of them, but God enlightened us to think of them. If you are sure that those inspirations are not against any commandment or any lawful authority, then most probably they are coming from God. Regular spiritual direction can greatly help in discerning what God is demanding of us in prayer. Again, Fr. C.J. McCloskey has written an excellent article on this practice.[7]


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Notes
[1] St. John Damascene
[2] St. Teresa of Avila
[3] cf. Fr. C.J. McCloskey’s guide How to Pray
[4] For other titles, see A Shortlist of Recommended Books on Living, Believing and Loving.
[5] See Peter Kreeft's excellent article on how prayer can multiply your time.
[6] See Read Any Good Books?: A Plan for a Lifetime of Spiritual Reading.
[7] See A Spiritual Consultant





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