Peace and Joy in a Box : Why you should no longer neglect, delay or fear confession

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I.Introduction

All men desire peace and happiness, but many do not realize that true peace and happiness could come in a box- in a confessional box that is. Many Catholics neglect, delay or fear going to confession for various reasons.

In this article, I will try to answer common objections on why one needs to go to confession and why one needs to go soon. I neither presume that I have covered all possible questions and objections about going to confession, nor that I have answered completely the questions I have posed. I am convinced that, more than rational arguments, what are needed for conversion are the grace of God and the person’s humility, faith and trust. Nevertheless, I still dare to tackle these questions in the slightest hope that even just one reader decide to avail of this great sacrament and enjoy the presence of God at the center of his soul.

II.Objections to Confession

Going to confession for the first time, or after a very long time can be very difficult. This is because one has to take three crucial steps, each of which perhaps requiring a considerable effort. First, one has to be humble and courageous enough to face his sins. Second, he has to be even more humble to mention these sins to another person (a priest). Finally, he has to resolve to mend his ways. We discuss below some issues related to these three steps.

1. Confronting one’s sins
I can’t face my sins, or, It’s pessimistic to think about my sins
If we have to be ready and brave enough to face and fix problems in our professional and family life, we have to be even more ready and courageous in facing problems regarding our spiritual life, because what is at stake is much much more- our eternal happiness.

I don’t need confession, I’m a basically a good person
If, as Christ said, a righteous man can fall seven times seven in a day, how much more would a sinner, like you and I, commit sin over a day, a week, a month, a year, or ten years? Unless pride distorts our view of reality, we should be aware of our sinfulness and say with the Psalmist “For in sin I have been conceived.”

St. John also reminds us, “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves.” If we truly know ourselves and do a deep examination of conscience, we will discover some actions, words and omissions that are not pleasing to God.

I don’t have mortal sins- I haven’t killed anyone or did anything similar
Even if you don’t really have mortal sins, you may have, at least, committed some venial sins (unless you have received a special privilege from God, as Our Lady had). Venial sins are also matters for confession and the Church encourages its faithful to confess them. Venial sins can be compared to wounds that are not fatal, but they have a real negative effect on the soul. A soldier may not instantly die from a wound, but if it is not attended to immediately and properly, it could lead to loss of blood and weakening, and, perhaps later on, even to death. Going back on the topic of mortal sins: it’s good to be reminded that killing people is not the only way by which mortal sins could be committed. One could very well commit mortal sins while being in front of a TV or browsing the internet, or by thinking severely evil thoughts.

God is good and merciful; He will understand, he cannot be offended
Yes, God is infinitely good and merciful, but he is also infinitely just. God’s infinite goodness and mercy is shown by his willingness to forgive us, through confession, ANY and ALL sins we commit while we are still on earth. But once we have finished our life on earth, God’s infinite justice will demand a strict accounting for each of our actions, words and omissions.

Sin is something real. If it were not, Christ’s Passion and Death would have no meaning. If sin were not a reality, there would be no reason for Hell to exist. But Hell does, in fact, exist. Our Lord told us so; the children of Fatima, through a privilege from Our Lady, have seen it with their own eyes.


2. Confessing one’s sins to a priest

The priest is just another man; I confess directly to God
Yes, the priest is just another man, but he is the chosen instrument of God for granting us his forgiveness. Jesus told his apostles after his resurrection: “Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained.” Christ did not tell the apostles “Whose sins are confessed to God the Almighty, they are forgiven them.” If your teacher told you, “Encircle the letter of your final answer”, will you risk not getting full marks by doing it another way, say, writing the letter of the final answer before the number?

Christ’s decision to make use of instruments- the apostles, the priests at that time- in order to forgive sins is an example of his divine pedagogy. By confessing our sins to a minister, our contrition is heightened by reminding us of how shameful and serious sin is. Moreover, we are given the absolute assurance that we are indeed forgiven when we hear the words of the priest “...and I absolve you from your sins.”


The priest is also a sinner
The priest is a sinner but he is Christ when he is in the confessional- he lends his voice and gestures to Christ, but it is Christ who forgives sins. That is why the priest uses the first person pronoun when he gives the absolution. He says “And I absolve you”, not ““And Christ absolves you” because he is acting in the person and in the name of Christ.

I’m ashamed to confess my sins to a priest
This is a natural reaction since what we confess touches on our intimacy. The Church recognizes this and so has sealed in secrecy whatever is mentioned in confession. The priest cannot, under any circumstance, divulge what has been mentioned in confession. A priest who breaks the seal of confession is automatically punished by excommunication.

I'm afraid to go to confession
There is nothing to fear in confession because God comes to us with open arms to forgive us and grant us mercy. St. Josemaría encourages us with these words: “What depths of mercy there are in God's justice! For, in the judgments of men, he who confesses his fault is punished: and in the Judgment of God, he is pardoned." (The Way, 309)

I haven’t gone to confession for years. I’m afraid the priest might be scandalized or that he might scold me
The priest will never be scandalized in confession. He is also a sinner and is made of the same stuff as we are. Moreover, the priest shares the sentiments of Christ and the Church- he does not wish the sinner to die, but turn from his sins and live.


3. Mending one’s ways

I’m not yet ready to change; I still want to enjoy life
Perhaps this is one of the most difficult obstacles to overcome- the fear of losing one’s old, “enjoyable” life, but one that is not completely in keeping with God’s will. It’s good to remember that it is not possible to completely enjoy life with the risk of losing one’s eternity. The type of joy that comes from this type of life is shallow and empty. On the other hand, a life lived according to God’s plans is more fulfilling and peaceful for we have the security of his love in this life and in the next. If we are not ready to give up the “joys” that come from base, sinful things, it will not be possible to enjoy the real joy that comes from the higher gifts. If we are not ready to throw away the vinegar from our glass, we will never enjoy the exquisite taste of a fine champagne.

Conversion is not easy; it requires God’s grace, our humility, faith and trust. If you don’t have the desire to change, then at least ask God to grant you the desire to have the desire to change.

Why confess? I will fall again anyway
This question is similar to this other question: Why take a shower when you could get dirty again anyway? You take a shower daily because you feel cleaner, fresher and you become more presentable to other people. The same thing is achieved in confession. Confession will not immunize you from sin, but it will make you feel good and at peace. It also makes you more presentable and pleasing to God and neighbor. Moreover, confession will also make your future battles against sin easier. Mothers would demand that stains in clothes be washed immediately because they know that the longer the stain remains in the clothes, the more difficult it is to remove it. So it is in our souls. The danger of not going to confession on a regular basis is that we could form bad habits that may be difficult to uproot later on.

III.Arguments of love are stronger than arguments of reason

We repeat that the arguments above do not cover all possible issues about going to confession. More than arguments of reason, what is needed for conversion are arguments of love. We need to go to confession because our sins have offended so good and loving a Father; because we wish to be reunited with Him who is the greatest object of our love; because we want to be as pleasing as possible in His sight.

In the end, confession (and conversion) is a product of God’s love and mercy to us and our correspondence to that love. We will need God’s grace and so we have to humbly ask for it.

IV.Availing of the Sacrament of Confession

I don’t know how to go to confession
Keep in mind that the most important thing in confession is to be truly sorry for your sins. With this in mind, the rest would be easy.  

Click here to watch a video on How to go to Confession. 
Click here to download a Short Guide on Confession

If you get lost while doing your confession, don’t worry. Just tell the priest that you don’t know how to continue and he will help you. You don’t have to worry either of whether you will be able to remember all the sins you have to confess. Just confess what you can recall, and mention the ones you forgot to mention in your next confession.

When is the best time for me to go to confession? 
As soon as you are prepared- and it shouldn’t take long for you to be prepared. Set a date for doing it and stick to it. There will be a thousand reasons for delaying confession. Don’t entertain any of them, they could just be suggestions of the devil. If you are in the unfortunate state of being in a mortal sin, all the more should you rush to go to confession.

Where can I do my confession?
Take note of the schedule of confessions in your parish, or just approach a priest after a Mass. Take advantage of special occasions in the parishes when confession is especially promoted (e.g. Holy week and Christmas). In Manila, Philippines, a place where confession is specially promoted is the Stella Orientis chapel in the University of Asia and the Pacific in Ortigas. In this chapel, at least one priest hears confessions from 7am-7pm of every working day.

Photo credit: 'I confess' by Viajero1 in www.sxc.hu